The Martha Perfect Christmas Takes on a Whole New Mary

I am a woman about tradition. I love traditions. I come by it honestly – with a southern family – tradition runs deep through my veins. At Christmas time – I can get a little out of control with my traditions and create expectations of myself that are completely unnecessary. At least, that’s what I learned at Thanksgiving.

With their dorm room settled and comfortable, routines established and beds neatly made, I wasn’t sure Mark and Tim would want to come back home for Thanksgiving weekend. In fact, when they moved to campus in the fall, they turned their room into a “music studio” because they said they had no need for beds at home any longer. Much to my surprise, they decided to come home for the long weekend. I have to admit; I was jumping with joy on the inside, but tried to maintain my cool on the outside.

You might believe that I see my boys quite often; since I work in the place they live and breathe. However, they have busy lives on campus. Busy lives that include new friends, challenging course work, late night runs for coffee and practical jokes. Much like your own children, I am pretty certain.

Typically, during the Thanksgiving weekend, we create the family calendar for the Christmas season. You see, I am married to a pastor, which means we have activities that we must attend, activities that we’d like to attend, and activities that we wish we could attend. And the calendar is full. I wanted to be careful about my own expectations of the college sons' participation in the “traditions” that we have created over the years. Though they live in the same town, they have their own lives.

Traditions include St. Nicholas Day and the arrival of presents in their wooden shoes, hunting for the perfect Christmas tree, lights on the house, musical performances, baking and the annual open house, church services, going to look at Christmas lights, gift exchanges and family events with grandparents, aunt, uncles and the cousins – and of course, the annual cousin sleepover at our house. Someone reminded me recently, “Why can’t Christmas just be about Jesus?”

That personal challenge has caused me to take a step back. Do I really need to maintain a frenzied holiday season, in order to call it Christmas? If you took a look at my schedule, and the precision with which I approach the Advent Season – you would think so. Not this year because of what happened Thanksgiving weekend.

The treasured moments from the weekend included: 1)taking a breather from the Black Friday shopping to sit and watch people at 2am with my three sons and two college friends, 2)making great nachos together in the kitchen to watch a football game, with my three sons, 3)finding the perfect jacket and shirt at the thrift store, where it’s Black Friday – every day – with 2 of my sons, and 4)waking up one of my sons from an afternoon nap to make sure he had time to get his homework done. You see, the treasured moments are times with family – relationship.

I believe Christmas is about Jesus. And I believe if Jesus had skin on today, and walked around my neighborhood and your neighborhood – he would spend time with the ones he loved. He wouldn’t bake until 3am, unless he did it with somebody. He wouldn’t hang up Christmas lights on the house, unless he could do that with someone. And I do think he would go to the thrift store, to find that perfect jacket – but only if he took friends with him.

Luke 10 verses 40- 43 says, “But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!” “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”

So this year, the tradition is about time with the people I love – even if that means less baking and more listening, less calendar planning, and more spontaneous meals prepared together with what we have on hand. I am still a woman about tradition….with a little less Martha and a little more Mary.

It's a small and crazy world.....

After 24 years, Balsam and I are back together.  She and I were friends in high school, and like a lot of high school friends, parted ways as we both went off to college.  Only, she ended up back in Iraq and I safe and sound in the Pacific Northwest.  We lost touch with one another - to be reunited again, years later. Balsam is a bit of a modern day Corrie Ten Boom. I really think there is a story to be written....watch for more.

The amazing part - though we had a lot to catch up on - including her miraculous survival and protection living in a very oppressed place, it was like we'd never left one another.  Like the 24 years was only the weekend.  Those kinds of friendships are rare. Our lives have been so different over the last  2 1/2 decades, and yet I think it has been providential to become reconnected.

"I know the plans I have for you says the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future."  Jeremiah 29:11

Only God really knows what the future holds - and yet I believe he can take the rubbish (as my UK friend Balsam would say) of our lives and create a masterpiece.  I am humbled to see what he is doing in both of our lives. Today, I am thankful, more than ever before, for the blessings and the high calling on my life.  I am far from equipped, but believe the Father will equip me with all that I need.

Sending them off...

My two oldest DS are headed out to lead worship at a Junior High retreat. I am happy for them and excited about how they are using their gifts for good.  As I watch them grow up - it's fun to see, and also hard to experience.  Letting go is hard.  Do they realize when they get into the car, they are carrying my precious cargo?  Do they realize how important it is to take care of themselves.....because I want one more hug, one more kiss on their cheek and one more chance to tell them how wonderful they are?

I believer the Father thinks the same of his children. When we head out the door into the world, do we realize how important we are to the Father?  Do we realize that each step we take, thought we entertain and word we say is a part of his precious cargo?  Do we really understand that who we are and what we do MATTERS to the King of the universe?  Well, it does!

Maybe that's part of what the scripture is talking about - when it says, "whatever you do, do it as if you were serving the Lord..."

Reunited....after 24 years....

In just two short days I will be re-united with a high school friend. Balsam and I were Health Occupation partners and laughed until we nearly cried in high school.  Our lives took incredibly different paths - and our paths will cross again this weekend!

Sometimes I wonder how and why after so much time, people will reconnect.  I think I am about to find out!  I am sure I will post some pics soon - and you'll hear more of our adventure together!

Valentine's Day - It's a family holiday

SEVERAL years ago, when our oldest two were in early grade school, my husband and I had planned to go out for Valentine's Day.  I remember one of the boys asking if Valentine's Day was a holiday.  I said, "sure, I guess so."  He then proceeded to ask if holidays were for families.  Well, he had something on me. I am very much a family gal - and I love traditions and holidays.  So, after thinking a bit, and anticipating the future for my three sons, I replied with an enthusiastic, "YES, Valentine's Day is a family holiday." And since that time, we have always celebrated together, the five of us.

Last year was a bit different.  Paul and I actually went out to dinner together as a couple for dinner.  The boys were all on a church retreat. Mind you, we hadn't been out to dinner together on Valentines' Dinner for years - and if we did, there were hamburgers and ice cream involved.  So, a nice dinner out was appealing.  Until we saw the lines and waited and waited.  Did I tell you how long the lines were?  CRAZINESS!  It was this very moment I really missed our family time - because together, it was always so simple, and dinner happened when we wanted it to.

This was the year I had been waiting for - the oldest two had girlfriends - and I knew their comments as little boys would come back to haunt them.  (I am a bit of a jokester....) So, I reminded them about a month ago that Valentine's Day was a family holiday and if they wanted to invite their girlfriends over - they could do that.  In fact, they could invited their girlfriends families over also.  We could have a fun dessert buffet - lots of chocolate and fruit :)

Well - I didn't really mean it, I couldn't honestly make my boys bring their sweethearts over on Valentine's Day. So,  I delivered my hand made valentines' to the boys...and bought milkshakes for those that stayed home....and cheerfully waited up for the ones who'd gone out. It's really the love we want....to know you matter to someone.  Flowers are wonderful, and so is good chocolate - but family.....nothing can compete!